I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The power of my boobs compel you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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