Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
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I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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