Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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