Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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