Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh god it's open bar.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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