is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Im part way to drunk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
