I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
