After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
