By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
