Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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