they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
