i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
someone owes me an orgasm
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
