My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
