There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
