he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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