ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
