I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
