i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
