I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
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Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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