Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
