I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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