Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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