I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?