Non-Jews are for practice
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life