i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.