READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
