So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
