i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
