i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
