erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize