you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
