so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
