I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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