College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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