Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
