God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
