we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
