with your own penis?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize