Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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