Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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