Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
