I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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