Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
