i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The air taste purple.
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