Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
