I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
