You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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