I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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