What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
