he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
