Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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