Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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