its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
