We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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