A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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