I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
