Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You need a sexual gate keeper
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
