All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
