the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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