Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
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You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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