We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
