her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
