hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
